2008-06-26 - 11:04 a.m.

Last night I had the most wonderful real-ish dream and the saddest wake up. I dreamt I had a girlfriend, but she was more than a girlfriend-- we were meant to be!

We were around twenty years old and oh, we were so in love. She was so beautiful. Man, was she beautiful! Everybody here loved her too.

At one part I was cleaning the goat pen and it was a big job, but I saw her coming out and I didn't care because I was so happy. She came to me and I climbed over the fence and we hugged and kissed. And then I woke up.

I woke up because George rolled over and hit my mouth ulcer with his elbow. It was like I got splashed with cold water and that's when I found out. That's when I found out it was only a dream. But it was more than a dream because I really loved her! I just laid there and cried because I lost her.

I fell back asleep again but all that happened was her father died and I didn't know about it and she was very sad. I don't know how old he was because they didn't give me that kind of detail in my dream.

When Mom came down the hall this morning, I got up quickly to tell her my dream so she could write it as I said it because I write very slowly and I didn't want to forget it. Sometimes Mom and I are like The Ghost and Mrs. Muir because she writes down what I say and it is already spelled right so I don't have to say, "How to you spell... ? " She never changes my words though because then it wouldn't be me writing it. (It would take me a day and a half to write this post in cursive.)

Anyway, the whole dream was about loving. I could have stayed in that dream, it was so good. It was sorta like 50 First Dates when Drew Barrymore kept painting pictures of Adam Sandler even though she couldn't remember him. He was still in her somehow. Well, this dream girl was still in me even after I woke up.

That's like real Christian love. There is a difference between real Christian love and phony Christian love or not Christian love. Real Christian love never ends. Even if my wife turned out to be a phony, and divorced me, I would always love her and pray that me and the Lord would win her to us. That's what I hate about making friends that aren't born again. They leave or break up and don't last forever. Phony Christian love isn't really Christian at all. Where we live, there are a lot of phony Christians. That's why we haven't found a church yet. We have church at home like the first Christians did, but we're hungry to meet more real Christians but they are probably in homes, too, so we keep praying that the Lord will hook us up. We know some but they are too far away to be with.

We're going to visit churches again soon but, in the meantime, I started a church for me and George and Richard but Richard never comes even though I ring the dinner bell. I read the Bible to George but he can't handle a whole chapter except when Mom or Dad are reading during Bible time. So I read 5 or 6 verses and then we pray.

I love the book of Romans because I got holy on chapter 8 especially verses 1 & 2:

1There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit. 2For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus hath made me free from the law of sin and death.

And verses 13 & 14:

13For if ye live after the flesh, ye shall die: but if ye through the Spirit do mortify the deeds of the body, ye shall live. 14For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, they are the sons of God.

It's like the Holy Spirit just grabbed ahold of me with that chapter and then I just got it.

Mom got holy on I John chapter 3 (not the Gospel of John but I John) especially verse 9:

9Whosoever is born of God doth not commit sin; for his seed remaineth in him: and he cannot sin, because he is born of God.

Before God made me holy, I was so scared because I didn't want to go to hell. I knew Jesus came and died to take away the sins of the world and I started thinking about it a lot when I was alone, like in the bathroom. I knew I wasn't safe because I did sins. I got so sick of it that I grabbed a Bible and my mom and I took them to her room and I told her I wanted to get holy so I confessed my sins and prayed and asked Jesus to give me a new heart, one without sin in it.... best day of my life!

It's a relief to not have to go to hell!

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